Leaps and Bounds

Shoes

2012-01-05T22:44:00.002-07:00

I want these shoes. Who is willing to contribute?!Is $340 really too much for Tiffany blue happiness?

2011-12-09T20:03:00.002-07:00

Once again I took a long absence. My apologies.
The last two posts were about what my post today will also be about. My kids/teaching and Brigham are all I talk about. As a little twist I'll mix in some family Christmas fun!
First: School has been CRAZY these past two weeks and I assume the craziness will continue for the next week and two days. Coming back from Thanksgiving was rough, but these past few weeks have made it worse. Students are loud, rude, and not interested in learning. I've been lecturing, scolding, pleading, and even standing on my desk to teach. Rough stuff these kids. My kids have completed a poster project, a writing assessment, and will write a speech before St. Nick visits. I find keeping them insanely busy helps a bit.
Today in cooking we made chocolate mousse. I thought it was delicious, but the kids had a different opinion. We used a simple recipe of 1 small carton of whipping cream, 1 tablespoon of sugar, 1 teaspoon of vanilla, 1 cup of Greek yogurt, plus melted chocolate. The Greek yogurt left a sour taste in the kids mouth. They added spoons of sugar. Yum, grainy mousse! I think using vanilla yogurt would help the sourness.
Second:Brigham is grand. We went to the scholastic warehouse sale the other day. It was amazing! It was a warehouse full of books! Those books were 50% off! (One of my students uses "!" after every sentence, much like I just did.) I bought 8 and Brigham bought 2. That night we started reading one of the graphic novels I got. Have you ever read a graphic novel out loud? It was a great experience. I'm so glad I found a boy who loves books! We read "Anya's Ghost" by Vera Brosgol. Good read, nice illustrations. Reading together out loud may be my new favorite.
I'm dying for Christmas to come so I can give Brig his presents. He reads this so everyone is going to have to wait to find out the spoils :)
Third: Family Christmas Fun. Last week we went home to Idaho for the Cook family Christmas party. Hawaiian themed. We also went shopping for various family members in a new Baxter tradition. We draw names and go to one store and buy a present within a certain price range. We repeated this 3 more times, drawing a new name each time. SO FUN! My favorite purchase was the punching bag I got Chaz.
There's the update! It's a good life.

Funny Teacher Moments

2011-10-21T08:18:00.003-06:00

Here are a few of my funniest moments so far this year.

-Six weeks into school I'm sitting on the ground with my kids throwing around a squishy duck for a discussion. As everyone settles down one of the girls says, "Ms. Baxter, you just fit in so well with us!" It's true because I haven't grown since the seventh grade. Then another girl said, "Oh yeah, when my mom came with me to the first day of school she saw you and said, 'Why does that girl get to come out of uniform? That's not fair.' I had to tell her that you were my teacher." The very next day I was standing in the lunch line for the first time and one of my girls says, "Oh Ms. Baxter!" I turn around smiling, "Oh hey girls." They laugh nervously and say, "We thought you were a new kid..." So rest assured, I am still being confused as a student by adults and children alike.

-Since we are in a brand new school we have to be really careful about what we put on the walls; we are only allowed to use painters tape and white sticky tack to hang things. Because of this caution I freaked out when I saw that the desks were ruining my back wall. The kids push their desks again the wall and the screws were scratching the plaster. As a result I moved all the desks about 10" away from the walls. The day after I move the desks and warn the kids to be careful one of my brilliant boys decides to jump over this desk:

As you can see there is an arm rest. This arm rest connected with "Steve's" shin. The resulting crash and slash of the wall made me scream, which was very effective in turning off the sound from the other students. Luckily "Steve" didn't crack his head on the other desk, but my wall has a gash I have yet to report.

-Our school has a very good special education program so we have 13% special ed students. One of these kids is "Matt". Matt has autism but is super high functioning and very smart. He walked into class the second day of school and said, "So, you speak a little Spanish right?"
"No, I speak a lot of Spanish" Don't ask why a 12 year old makes me all defensive...
"Ok, so...what does gato mean?"
"Cat"
"Very good! What does necesito mean?"
"I need"
"Well, it means to need something, but sure."
After that little intro class began, but 20 or so minutes into it Matt raised his hand.
"Ms. Baxter what would a cat say in Spanish?"
This has nothing to do with our discussion, but I humor him, "The same thing it would say in English I guess, 'Meow'"
"No, I don't think so, how would a cat meow in Spanish?"
"The same way Matt, cat's only speak one language. Meow"
"Oh, so you don't really know Spanish then"

-On Wednesday we were finishing up a test and "June" came up and asked if she could use the bathroom. I don't want any kid peeing their pants in class so I always let them go, so off June went. A few minutes after she returns she come up to my desk and hands me a note all folded up and says, "This is for you." Now, I've gotten little notes or drawings from my students before so that is what I was expecting, this is what I got:
"Ms. Baxter,
I am so sorry that I asked you to go to the bathroom. I didn't really have to go and I didn't even go to the bathroom. I went to my locker to get something. I'm so sorry I just had to tell you, the guilt. I just feel so guilty! I'm super sorry. You can give me a bad grade if you want. I deserve it. Sorry.
June"
I read it, looked up and saw June staring at me with this worried look on her face, hands clasped together. Trying not to laugh I beckon for here to come up front. "Don't worry about it," I tell her, "Thank you for telling me, next time just ask to go to your locker, I'll probably let you go. Ok?"
"Ok, thanks so much."
"You're welcome, thank you."

Those are a few of my kids. Adorable right? These are the good moments hahah. Sometimes they drive me crazy, but it's worth it.

This Guy

2011-10-16T11:10:00.003-06:00

I have not blogged in just over a month and it's all because of this guy:

Feel free to blame him, I do. I blame him for my room never getting cleaned anymore, for my lack of motivation to grade papers, for getting behind on my shop work, etc. He's fine with it.

Two Months of Updates:

- Brigham and I started dating in August
- Brigham took to to get my own Magna Library Card
- I started teaching school at Providence Hall Jr High
- 7th graders make me want to laugh and cry every day
- I finished the 3rd season of Lost
- New Fall shows are rocking my weekdays
- Magna feels like home
- I went to the state fair and Brigham bought me a unicorn necklace!
- I've bought over 20 books for my in class library; all of them hail from D.I.
- 4 toys have been broken on my toy shelf at school
- I've been assigned to teach 6 different classes in the past 6 weeks.
- Teaching cooking is fun.
- On Friday I can wear jeans, but then my students think I'm a new kid at school when I stand in the lunch line.
- I fell in love with Brigham.
- 5 new pairs of shoes all under 20 bucks!
- Getting my first scholastic book order box
- Conference in Idaho with Brigham and the fam.
- Bountiful Baskets are rocking our socks!
- 1st mission reunion

I think that about sums it up. Happy October!

Remembering New York in Idaho

2011-09-11T21:29:00.005-06:00

I have always been hyper sensitive to the subject of 9/11 since that day 10 years ago. A partial reason may be because I was only 13 and everything was so much bigger at that age, but even I couldn't blow what had happened out of proportion. Another reason may be my obsession with New York.

At school this week we had an assembly about the attacks. It was presented by one of the teachers who was in the National Guard. He was at the Pentagon that day and gave a very personal presentation of the events. Before we went down I lectured my students about how much this meant to me and everyone else. They behaved like angels and I sat and watched 600 kids learn about something that is only history to them. The youngest was only 1 when it happened, the oldest 5. I bawled unabashedly as I watched footage that I hadn't seen in years. My kids looked over in concern, but there was no reason to even try and hide it. I was remembering the fear I felt and the pain we still feel for our country and our brothers and sister. My lesson plans were thrown into a metaphorical trash can and for the rest of the day I chilled on the floor with my kids talking about those events. Teaching. learning, and remembering.

To memorialize that day I talked with my kids, I dug out my newspapers that I had saved 10 years ago, I watched a documentary about the firefighters with my family, and I reread my journal entry.

This is me 10 years ago; poor spelling and all.

September 12, 2001 Wednsday 9:50 p.m.
Yesterday the U.S.'s life was ataked. Terrorist attacked the World Trade Centers and the Pentagon. Two hijacked pasenger planes flew into each of the twin towers 18 min. apart. The tallest building in Manhatten, 110 stories, fell to the ground. At the pentagon a plane flew right at it's side. Our world is falling apart. We don't know who did it though we have evidence for Arabics, Afgahistan, ya know Middle East. Another plane was hijacked and it crashed into Summerset county, no surviveors. We don't know how many were killed but it has to be in the thousands. It's all very depressing and we'll be hearing about it for weeks. I hope we all can live through it.
Love, Nelli

One year later I wrote this:

September 7, 2011 Saturday 10:19 p.m.
I'll fill you in on our war on terrorism (as we now call it). First we know Osama bin Laden planned the attacks, he's an al Quedia (said Al-Ky-da) leader. We still don't know where he is or even if he's alive and it's been a year. We have people in Afganistan fighting but I don't know if it's doing any good. So many people have died. For the first month after the attack I came home from school and watched the news. The day it happened I was at school and all of our friends were jokin bout it cuz we didn't know that terrorist were killing people w/ planes We thought some idiot flew into the tower but that everyone was alright. Then my friends and I walk past a room w/ the news on, right then the other plane struck and we saw people jumping from windows 100 stories up. We stopped joking and we knew this was real. We didn't do school work that day we just watched the news every hour. First hour Kassie and I held hands and prayed and we about cried. It was awful! Now as the year anvversery comes up we all wonder if they will strike again. Only 4 days till a years gone by. 9-11 look at the numbers they are 9-1-1 the number we call for help. What a horrible irony.

Now 10 years later I still remember that day so well. I remember coming home from school and crying in my bed because I was afraid we were going to lose everything in a war. I remember being afraid to let my dad go on business trips. But the last thing I remember is forgetting. I remember trying very deliberately to forget what happened. To move on with life and pretend it was just the same. After a month of fear I pretended it never happened. Catharsis comes in different forms. Mine was forgetting for a while, then staring obsessively at the papers I kept from the day, reading "The Guys" by Anne Nelson and competing in tournaments with it, and finally teaching other about how it felt to watch it as a teenager a country apart. Now the ties are deeper because I claim a little bit of that city as mine. I wasn't there that day, but I saw the faces of the people who were. I ate dinner with survivors and heroes. The city, the people, the events have my heart and I honor them.

fall is here, hear the yell, back to school, ring the bell

2011-08-28T18:17:00.004-06:00

One month later I return from my whirlwind last month of summer vacation. Here's whats been going down the past few weeks.

Jess came and spent a week with me in the condo! We had so much fun being girls = shopping, being yogis, running, shopping, laughing, spa stuff. Pretty much perfect. Then her love finally returned from Spain and they took me with them to Idaho.

Once in Idaho I worked at my favorite tire store for a few hours then my perfect parents drove me to Boise to catch a flight. It may seem silly for me to fly out of Boise when I live 15 minutes from SLC, but it was all part of the plan. You see, Kersie was flying from Tacoma and her flight was stopping in Denver. The flight from SLC did not. The flight from Boise did stop in Denver. Thus we drove to Boise and Kers and I reunited in Denver! I attacked her as she came off the plane and she told me that she had just filled an airsick bag. Not ideal, but she got better as the trip went on. We made it to NYC and had the best vacation of our lives. I think going back to the mission is best done with a mission companion. We saw our loves, we hit our old haunts, we didn't feel pressured to play tourist, we felt at home. I can't even describe my feelings during that week. Especially when I stepped off the metronorth at marble hill and smelled the city. It's like something inside of me woke up again: my city self! :) I may sound dramatic, but it's true. Our last day in the city Kers and I rode the Staten Island Ferry out and back to Manhattan at 10 pm. On the way back in we listened to "Empire State of Mind" and cried. I just looked at those city lights and remembered all my childhood and grownup dreams and cried. It was so beautiful. Kersie and I started planning the next trip before we even left the island.

Back in Magna I started school. 2 weeks of training and planning and school starts tomorrow. I'm hoping for funny stories to follow. Perhaps even tomorrow after the first day. Our school is beautiful. It's brand new and has a bell tower. Seventh grade English, Cooking, and Yearbook are my list of classes. Here we come first year of full time teaching!

I can tell that we are gonna be friends

Living the Life

2011-07-24T11:15:00.004-06:00

I had the best non weekend vacation with Jess. Since Bri is in Spain we decided we needed our own little adventure here in the US of A. We went up to Jackson Hole on Monday without a plan, but with some clothes and sleeping bags for the impending adventure. We are so lucky to live close to such a cool place! We heard so many different languages and accents while walking around, and we got to eat some really great food. Our Monday dinner was at the Lotus Cafe where I had the best coconut curry with spinach and other green veggies that I never thought I would eat. It was delicious. I felt like I was getting healthy with every bite. After dinner we needed to go find a place to camp, so going off of an obscure map that a ranger drew for us we found our site. It was a camp ground, but very different from the one the one in West Yellowstone that the girls and Jordan stayed in for the Fourth one year. We did not have a peninsula of grass, we had dirt and sagebrush, but there were still a lot of neighbors. We were so excited to pitch our tent. There was a sort of feeling about our weekend like, "Yeah, we don't have a plan, but we are independent women and can do this on our own!" Well, that may be true, but we failed at setting up the tent. Not our fault! The tent bag had a tent and rain cover, but no poles. So after running a mile, walking 2, learning about ungulates, and getting eaten alive, we slept under the stars.
Tuesday morning was glorious! We found a white-water float company that did an 8 a.m. float which is 13 dollars cheaper than a day time float, AND they feed you breakfast!! Hello?! Is there a better deal? Not for 2 girls who didn't even bring food along on their adventure. The float trip was so cool. This link goes to our pictures of the day: http://snakeriver.elevationimaging.com/cgi-bin/category.cgi?category=925550 so much fun. On the bus ride back to our car Jess and I discussed how we wanted to go rafting every year, maybe in a kayak, and maybe down the Grand Canyon. For a few hours we walked around Jackson and had a delicious and drawn out lunch at The Bunnery. Finally it was time for our yoga class! We had been waiting for this all day it seemed. We did yoga in a room that was 85 degrees and had 65 percent humidity. I can honestly say I've never sweat so much in my life. We left feeling renewed and ready for the next adventure which starts on Tuesday. Anti-gravity yoga, here we come!!

FML

2011-07-15T22:57:00.002-06:00

These gems are thanks to a hilarious website: fmylife.com

Today, I was jamming out in my car, tapping my fingers on the wheel and bobbing my head. At the next stoplight, I happened to look over and the passenger of the car next to me was holding a sign in the window saying, "I bet you don't have a boyfriend, do you?" FML

Today, my daughter told me that my head is shaped like a kidney bean and that I'm lucky she even talks to me in public. She's 6. FML

Today, I had to dig up my twin boys birth certificates for baseball registration. Turns out I had been calling both of them by the other twin's name for eight and a half years. FML

Today, one of my students corrected the problem I had solved on the board, explaining that you do multiplication before subtraction. I teach the second grade. FML

Today, I made the long drive to work, got out of the car, and realised that I'd forgotten to put shoes on before I left the house. FML

Today, I was yelled at by my mum for not wanting to get a spray tan for my cousin's wedding because if I don't, I will "shine like a beacon of disrespect" among the other attendees. FML

Today, I met my soon-to-be step mother. My dad was right, we had a lot in common. Including our birth year. FML

Today, Twilight once again won all the awards at MTV, beating out Inception, Toy Story 3, Harry Potter, etc. This is MY generation. FML

Today, I fell asleep in class. I'm the teacher. FML

I like to twirl...maybe in slow motion.

2011-07-11T23:20:00.003-06:00

http://youtu.be/lpypeLL1dAs

I've watched this video 6 times today.

It's still funny.

Fauxmingos and Fireworks

2011-07-10T11:06:00.005-06:00

Some people say that the Fourth of July is their favorite holiday. My family has never really been big on celebrating, but there is one big thing we do every other year: The Thueson Family Reunion. I hadn't been to one since 2007 because of the mission, and I was so excited to go. This year we were at Donata Hot Springs and stayed in a Yurt. I had no idea what a yurt was, but it was this circular building with a bunch of bed. After a few hours around the fire Friday night we went to bed because Saturday morning was going to be an early one. All of Grandma's kids and grandchildren are in charge of making breakfast for the whole camp, so we usually start around 6 or 6:30. After everyone had eaten and Ron had forced people to take more and more sausage, we still had 4 full watermelons under the table and lots of food to give the kid's pigs. The rest of the day was spent chatting with relatives and having Sher crackle paint our toenails. The cutest thing that happened was asking Whits daughter what was on her swimsuit, the answer: Fauxmingos. Hahaha Not Flamingos, but Fauxmingos. Everyone should get some.
After the great family reunion Mom, Dad, and Chaz followed us back to Magna. Every time they visit they bring us something new for the condo. This time it was a shelf for the laundry room, picture frames, and a cabinet for the kitchen. Oh, and Grandma Cook's awesome gold arm chair. In true Baxter-vacation style, we went to a movie. Our favorite theater in Utah is Jordan Commons because you can take a full meal into the theatre from a variety of restaurants. Fun stuff. We saw "Mr. Popper's Penguins" in which he mentioned a yurt! We were so glad to know what that meant :) The best part of the night was driving back home after the movie. It was Saturday and everyone was getting a head start on their fireworks. We drove with windows down and sunroof up and watch fireworks explode all over the valley on the way back to Magna. It was one of the coolest things I'd ever seen. Then, I got to see it again on an even bigger scale on Monday when I drove home to Idaho. Driving up I-15 on the 4th of July is one of the best place to see all the fireworks that Utah has to offer.

Summer Vacation

2011-06-15T22:41:00.003-06:00

I am such a happy Summer Vacationer! Today I came home to get some papers I forgot and my neighbor said, "Oh are you done teaching now?" My extensive and excited description of my summer vacation surely was not was he was expecting, but it's hard to keep in the joy.
Sometimes I think I see my kids around. It's never them and it makes me a little sad to know that I won't be going back to them next fall. Luckily, I will get a whole new batch of chillins come August 29th! I actually found out that I'll be teaching seventh grade English and that I'll most likely get to teach theatre on Fridays! I'm so happy I could just sing.
Back to Summer Vacation. I went to Utah on Friday to pick up a friend from the mission and we had a fun weekend catching up with other RMs and going to a wedding of one. I felt like such a foot loose and fancy free individual: no responsibilities or deadlines looming. (That is not to say I don't still have responsibilites and deadlines at the shop, or with the new job in Utah, they just aren't looming.)We also moved my sister into our new place in Magna. It's so nice. I love it already. I'm excited to get my room all set up and lovely.
Next week I get to see my most lovely Kersie!! I'm just so excited it's almost all I talk about. then, 5 weeks later we are going to New York. This is quite possibly going to be the best Summer ever.

Redirecting

2011-06-07T18:22:00.002-06:00

When I click on a tab to navigate to a new page my browser says, "redirecting..." That's kind of what I'm doing lately: Redirecting. According to the Merriam-Webster online dictionary "redirect" means, "To change the course or direction of." I think that applies quite well. Just add "Shanelle" on the end of that quote and it's perfect! I am redirecting to Magna, Utah in just two weeks. I am redirecting to Providence Hall from North Fremont High School. I am redirecting from two jobs to zero this summer. I am redirecting from Salt Lake City to New York City August 6, 2011!

Who doesn't love redirecting?!

Merriam and Webster also gave me a list of words that rhymed with redirecting, here's a little diddy inspired by that lovely list.

Redirecting

One day I met a guy who was turtlenecked
who said he believed he could resurrect
I couldn't say he was incorrect
because there's such a thing as intellect
and I believe the truth is in full effect

then this little man with the birth defect
gave me advice ev'ry night to genuflect
turn down the covers allow myself to introspect
sometimes as humans we have too much self respect
and just need to realize the side effect
the life we live is full of disrespect
'cause the man is charge is the Great Architect
so every day we need to be more circumspect
our decisions are ours but may lead us to
redirect redirect redirect

Job Description...Who Needs One?!

2011-05-24T23:00:00.003-06:00

I am anxious to finish my current teaching job and start my new one. Only one problem:
I have no idea what my new job is.
The important thing is that I do have a job, but I feel equally important is me being prepared for this job. Let's not get dilussional and think that I would actually be making lessons plans at this time. (C'mon I still have to finish grading my current students research papers!) I just want to know exactly what I will be doing right now! While at work at the shop I received an email from the school (now to be refered to as PH, as in Providence Hall) and thinking it was a job description I printed it without reading and ran out to door to get some Subway for some hungry Elders. Ten minutes later, Subway on table, I read the letter. It's only asking me for a bio!! Garbage. Hahahah. Some day I'll be able to tell you all about my new job. Just not today.

Speaking of today, I sent two kids to the priciPal's office. The priciPal wasn't there so it was pretty ineffective, but they were scared. It was the first time I've ever done that. I perfer to handel things in the classroom, but after a boob punch and a kid saying "bastard" I was done and off they went. Yeah, I'm a grouchy end of school year teacher. Dangit.

I could win

2011-05-15T23:02:00.004-06:00

You know those kind of stupidly entertaining games people play at Family Home Evening? There is one that I am almost positive I could win at this moment: the purse game. They proctor of this game has a list of a bunch of random things and the group with the most wins. This is why I think I would win:
In my one gray purse with a cute bow I have the following (in order of appearance):

Retainer
Car Keys
Jump Drive
House Keys
Moleskine Journal
Speeding Ticket
Hotel Receipt
Tithing Slip
Chines Zodiac Placemat from Happy's
Spanish Hymnal
Pay Stub
Mission Picture
Gas Receipt
Masking Tape
External Speaker
Pink Flower Hair Clip
Purple Pen x 2
White and Black Hair Bow
Hair Twisty x 2
Black Sharpie
Pink Necklace
Nail Clippers
Chapstick x 2
Gum Wrapper x 3
Black Pen
Pink Pen
Red Ribbon
Checkbook
Wallet with Credit/Debit cards, Library cards, License, Zumba Card, Change, Subway
Teal Nail Polish
One Unopened Toric Contact Lens (left eye)
Black Dangly Earrings
Handmade Peace Sign Earrings
One Unopened Contact Lens (right eye)
Contact Solution (TSA approved size)
Black Flower Hair Clip
Computer Tech Guy's Number from Work
Wendy's Receipt
Blue Button
Paper Clip
Golden Chocolate Egg Wrapper
Bobby Pin
Watermelon Fruitie Wrapper

I'd totally win right?

23

2011-05-15T00:01:00.004-06:00

My 23rd birthday was unlike any birthday I've ever had. All birthdays are different I guess but this one was just so normal. I went to work all day on Friday came home and opened gifts with my sister (one day before my birthday and six days before hers), stayed up late talking with England, and slept in. My phone kept buzzing at me in the morning from early birthday messages and my alarms. In my lack-of-sleep-induced inebriation I was amazed at how big my phone was and just kept trying to make it shut up. Finally I woke up 40 minutes before my family was supposed to start the sojourn to Utah. So, I didn't shower. Hey, it's my birthday! My hair still looked really good, spiky and punky, just like I want it to be. I knew it would be a strange day so in an effort to make it as birthdayish as possible I ate cake for breakfast. It's the most important meal of the year. I wore my new shirt (which Daddy got dishwater on but I wore it spotted all day long) and cuffed skinny jeans with Audrey Hepburn class. During the three hour car ride I read "Angela's Ashes" I'm not done yet, but I like it. I found the most beautiful line! It's about Frank's first encounter with Shakespeare:
"I don't know what it means and I don't care because it's Shakespeare and it's like having jewels in my mouth when I say the words."
Isn't that just lovely! It was a great discovery.
After that I measured out the condo we are in the process of buying. I really hope it all goes as planned because I love that place. As it was my birthday I got to pick our dinner and my brain was stuck on Skippers the second Dad said it. Our IF Skippers has been gone for a few years now and I miss it. I just loved their clam chowder! I was so excited until we drove up and realized Garmani must need an update because Skippers was now Racheritos. I vetoed that. Instead we went to drop my sister and most of her belongings off at a hotel in Tooele where she will live for a week or more while waiting on the condo. Strange right? Can't be helped, but we can eat well regardless of the living situation. Texas Roadhouse caught my fancy and we dined there then left Nic in her Jetta while we drove to Idaho. More reading plus some sleeping and a lime ricky slurpee and I arrive in Idaho again and my birthday is over. Adult birthdays are kind of weird. I was amazed and pleased at all the love blasted at me via FB and text. How lucky are we to be so easily connected to our loves no matter where? So lucky. (So was never meant to be an intensifier. I always think that when I use it as one. Spanish actually has a word for that use of so. It's "tan", yeah I'm a nerd, but a recently birthdayed nerd!)

And I go...

2011-05-13T23:56:00.002-06:00

After two day trips to Utah in just six days I am preparing for my third.
I feel like this is a pretty good sign that I should move there and guess what?
I AM!!
Time moved in a wierd slowly fast time warp the past four months,but the past week has just been FAST. There's been no slowing down (except in the work my students are willing to produce). Last week we viewed some houses and chose one to submit an offer on. Monday night the offer went in and Tuesday it was accepted. Wednesday my dad signed some papers and Thursday I drove to Herriman, Utah where I accepted a job and got my first speeding ticket. Today my kids walked into class totally checked out for the year and we have three weeks left. Tomorrow we are going to Utah to check out the condo and "celebrate" my birthday. Sunday I am singing in the Spanish Branch. Monday I have no idea what I'm teaching my kids. I feel like I'm caught in Charybdis!(Yeah I've been studying Greek mythology with the chicos...)In the midst of my whirlpool I was getting really worried. I mean we bought a house and I had no reason to move myself down there. I'd almost made the decision to just accept that I would be at the tire store for at least another year, then Thursday happened. Within a matter of minutes I'm laughing with my interviewers and then they stop and say, "We'd like to offer you a job. This is only the second time we've done this. We just really like you." Um, thank you?!? I'm trying to look confident but not prideful or conceited and one of them says, "Is that something you'd be interested in?" Honestly on the way down I told myself that if they offered a job I was going to ask for time to think about it because it's a Junior High. Babies. But even as I thought that I was saying, "YES!" So here I am looking at a minimum of nine more months of little chicos who think they know everything, maybe even longer, and I couldn't be happier.

Beautiful Moment

2011-05-09T21:04:00.003-06:00

The first Friday of every month has been deemed "TIF" night by my sister. TIF stands for Try It Friday. We get together with some of our friends (ok her friends) and we eat food. It's a three course meal: appetizer, main course, and dessert. So, last Friday we had a marvelous night at The Snake Bite, Happy Chinese, and Kiwi Loco. It was just a lot of fun.
So I was happy and as I was driving home from Idaho Falls Train's song, "Marry Me" came on. It was the most amazing thing. I'm driving along, singing and I am totally living in that moment! Nope, I'm not married, I've never been proposed to (except by drunken men on the streets on New York and Connecticut) but I really felt the emotion of that song. So there I was, living in a song by Train. It ended and I was wiping tears from my cheeks amazed that that level of emotion could come from a song. Art is so beautiful. I want to be surrounded by it 100% of the time.

Job Interview? Sure!

2011-04-30T20:27:00.002-06:00

Hurray! I received an email last night asking me to have an interview with a charter school in Utah! I'm pretty excited because I was starting to get very nervous that no one wanted me. Sure, it's a Jr. High and I don't really want to teach Jr. High, but I'll take hope where I can get it. Yay for interviews!

Late night post

2011-04-27T23:22:00.003-06:00

Yes it's only 11:22 but I am usually asleep an hour before this. I'm not sure why I'm still awake, but my feet are freezing! I don't like socks. I like the look of socks, but I don't like wearing them.
While I was pondering on socks earlier today, that is not what has been occupying most of my thoughts. This is: Earlier today I was texting with a friend from the mission and he mentioned how he hated getting on Facebook because everyone was getting engaged. Can I just tell you how amazing it was to hear someone else, and a guy at that, say those words? (Alright he only typed them, but roll with me) There is something so exciting and devastating about an engagement. Every time a close friend has gotten engaged I was so happy for them, but I also cried. Every time. Just like how I cry every time I see a Broadway show. Why is that? I think maybe part of it is because it is a replacement of sorts. No one likes to be replaced, no matter how handsome or fun the replacement. Also, I believe we know that it will never be completely the same again. There is something bigger than friendship in life and that is love and friendship. I'm not bitter about these facts, just pensive. I have good friends who are married and we hang out like old times. I love that. I love their husbands. Together we have a lot of fun.

I like looking at character traits and breaking them down. This is one of those. I've decided it's a stumble because I should be able to be purely happy for people who have found their love. Holding back love and joy is a little selfish. And yet, the change of relationship status can still rock my world for a while.

Graduate Record Examination

2011-04-25T22:47:00.002-06:00

So today I took the GRE. I decided not to tell many people about it before hand because I don't need to be told to study. Actually, restate that: I need to be told to study but I bristle under those reminders. I signed up about 2.5 weeks ago. There just weren't any days to get down to Pocatello and take it except for my Spring break Monday. Not exactly ideal, but let's be honest it's not like I was planning a trip to Mexico or something.
I've never really studied for a standardized test before, but I did a little for this one. I bought study cards and a work book. I liked the study cards a lot, but the workbook barely got cracked open.
The GRE was an unknown for me. I had no idea what to expect, how long it would take, if it would blow my mind,etc. In my extensive prep I learned that the test was 4.5 hours long. Gross. Well, today I got to the test center with only one frantic call to the proctors asking which building it was in. There were breaks permitted, but I don't like dragging things out, so I didn't take them. I really appreciated that that was a choice. Also, because it is computer based I received my scores at the end. Surprisingly I did better on the quantitative section than the verbal. Have you ever seen the words they expect you to know?! What the crap does "obfuscate" mean? I actually did know that one because it was in my study cards, but that's the only reason.
I am not totally happy with my scores, but I'm not beating myself up either. BYU wouldn't accept me, but I'm ok with that. Actually strangely I want to do good enough to be accepted by BYU just so I can deny them. Anyway, I don't know if I'll retake the test, but for now I'm just glad I'm done. :)

The Shop

2011-04-22T23:51:00.003-06:00

I never realized how much I talked about the shop until I was on my mission. Almost all of my companions or other mission friends made comments about how excited they were to one day see the store. After that happened a few times I realized that a lot of the stories I told centered around tires.
Even though the smell still gets to me, I just love that building. It's not the edifice that is important, but what it represents and who is in it. Our tire stores are our family. Growing up in Terreton we lived behind the shop, played hide and seek in the tractor tires lying in the fields, waited for the bus by the mailbox mounted on welded wheels, and visited for free candy bars and smarties from Ronnie. I even rode the bus "home" to Dad's shop in Hamer to hang out and sweep the floor. When we were building the Rigby store it felt like the biggest adventure. There were metal washers littering the floor that we kids would collect, our summer currency. Mingled with the good memories are the bad ones of having to go to the shop on the last day of school while everyone else celebrated summer. Or the Saturday mornings when Mom would come pick me up from my sleepovers before my friends were even awake. And that stressful time when the rest of the family went on a cruise and I had to call in payroll taxes and messed up multiple times. But all those things pale in comparison to what I have learned behind the desk and at the tire machines. I have learned about family, love, responsibility, work, laughter, determination, and tire sizes. I've learned that if you sit on the floor to lift the tire you will have a dirty butt. I've learned that lube pops into your eyes while filling tires. Also, all payroll mistakes can be corrected; it's just not easy or convenient.
Why the random shop rave? I dunno. Today was an awesome day. We were busy and got a lot done. Yesterday as I was running out the door to Zumba, Dad reminded me that the shop wasn't just Jaxon's, I could be a part of it... maybe that's why. There is something so special about being about to work with your family every day. To some that's a lot of unwanted pressure and proximity, to us it is how we live and I like our life.

Social Pressures and Class Reunions

2011-04-19T22:12:00.003-06:00

You know that song "Boston" by Augustana? It's a pretty good song to describe how I feel.

Oooo total tangent, but what if you did a daily blog post of the song that most closely represents your day? I think that would be so amazing because then you'd have the play list for your whole year!

Back to the point. Ok the lyrics of the song say

"I think I'll go to Boston.

think I'll start a new life.

I think I'll start it over

where no one knows my name

I'll get out of California (insert Idaho)

I'm tired of the weather

... (inappcicale lines about lovers in Spain)

I think I'll go to Boston

I think that I'm just tired

I think I need a new town

To leave this all behind

I think I need a sunrise

I'm tired of the sunset"

Nice right? Well that's what I feel like. I want to run away to anywhere but here. New York is actually the top of the list, but I heard Boston is lovely. Sometimes I have days where my flight button has been punched and it gets stuck for a while. It's not even that anything is really wrong, I just want something new. Sometimes I feel guilty for these feelings because we should learn to be content with what we have, but I think dreams and nice.

Running away makes me think about my 5 year class reunion. I've been debating for a while about whether or not I want to go. High school was generally pretty fun, but my senior year was my least favorite. That's not the real issue though. 5 years out of high school has got me right where I ended with a few detours. I still live in my parents basement in Rigby. Yeah, I went to school and graduated which is great. I served a mission in the best place in the world. I have a job doing what I love. All of those things are so important to me, but I feel like the reunion would be all about kids and husband. Some people have 2 or 3 kids by now. I am a pretty confident person but the thought of going to that party alone freaks me out. Talk about peer pressure right? It never ends. Peer pressure is just a strong for adults as it is for teenagers. So I want to run away so I have an excuse not to go.

Here I come Boston!

Samson and Students

2011-04-18T22:32:00.003-06:00

The past three songs on my Pandora have been about Samson/Delilah. It's kind of really cool. That bible story is quite a good one, right? Have you ever thought about how the men writing the Bible were using literary techniques that we still study today? I think about it all the time. Well, not 100% of the time, just whenever I read the scriptures. There is all sorts of stuff going on in there: foreshadowing, allusions, parallelism, personification. It's amazing. I was speaking with one of my amazing professors about this (Brother Samuelson) and I said that sometimes I feel like a nerd for getting wrapped up in the literary details instead of the divine details. He said it's fine.

Today in class my kids planned my wedding. I am not getting married, but if I was then the catering, dress, decorations, flower girl (really a 15 year old boy), and the place are all taken care of. Oh, and I think someone offered to be a DJ. It'd be the best wedding around. Teenagers really know how to throw a party. They even had me try on a veil of random blue fabric; the end result was me looking like the Virgin Mary. I love those kids. I promised to actually invite them all to my wedding when it happens. One of my students is in the process of setting me up with her uncle who still lives at his mom's house. This is what happens when you aren't married. 14 year olds start setting you up with relatives. Luckily she told him he needed to be temple worthy. Hahahah at least they know my standards! I love this life.

Portrait of My Floor

2011-04-14T22:02:00.002-06:00

You lie there in your sandy-colored glory Gloating about how stains don't show on your speckled sheath (whereas stains are abundantly apparent on me) You can wear 3 pairs of pants with 7 tops 11 pairs of heels/boots/black flats and not a soul will tell you you don't match 4 bags should cover the color options the books arrayed like broken library stacks a guitar pictures and memories mingle with garbage and old electronics (synonyms really) mystifying mess beautiful bounty cacophonous conscience electrifying essence

I lose things

2011-04-11T22:38:00.007-06:00

Like a GPS (found 2 months later). A round speaker orb. Tablet with mileage for tax write off (found one day later). The Killers cd Keys to the nursery and my jump drive (Found 4 days later by Erikson Pontiac). My paycheck. That last one was today. I put it on my purse, went to an eye doctor (didn't open my purse) then to the bank and realized I didn't have it. I retraced my steps three times and looked every where at the shop. Then I poked my tear duct with the leg of my glasses. Am I going crazy?!

Maus Maus Maus Maus

2011-04-09T22:27:00.003-06:00

I just opened a lovely box of Maus (Mouse).

(That sentence would be a great example of incorrect word usage if it wasn't about a book.)

I have been waiting approximately four year to buy this book and I finally have it. During the college years I felt guilty spending money on books that weren't related to my schooling. Actually that's the same reason I never took dance class. Regardless, I lusted after this book for many years. It really got me into graphic novels (Not the anime type). My future classrooms have lesson plans for this book. That's how much I love it.

There is something about the Holocaust that intrigues me. I've always loved learning and reading and studying all about it. The feelings produced by knowledge about horrible world events are inexplicable. Those same feelings, whatever they are, were the result of reading this book. The drawings are brilliant. Spiegelman uses animals to represent different nationalities. He retells his father's story and it all feels so real, because it is.

Thank heavens for a real job and a free trial of Amazon Prime to get me this book por fin!!

Read it. Love it. Study it.

The REAL High School Musical

2011-04-06T20:48:00.004-06:00

When I first started teaching my kids I asked them a few questions:

1) Where is the best place to eat in Ashton?

2) What is your favorite TV show?

3) What was the last movie you watched?

4) Who is your favorite music artist or band?

The answer to number four was some guy who I had never heard of, just a little someone named Bruno Mars.

Now Bruno is irrevocably connected to Romeo and Juliet.

After a few days of reading the kids caught on that Romeo and Juliet were pretty dramatic and that they would die for each other, or without each other for that matter. As the bell rang and they started filing out of class chatting about our death-driven lovers someone said, "Dude, Romeo would totally catch a grenade for Juliet!" At that point all 14 of my kids started singing "Grenade" in unison as they filed into the hallway.

I'd catch a grenade for ya

Throw my hand on a blade for ya

I'd jump in front of a train for ya

You know I'd do anything for ya

The Cure

2011-03-29T22:41:00.003-06:00

This is a representation of what we call, "Relief Society Arms."

They are flabby. Imagine that arm directing you to sing, "The Lord is My Light" in four-four time. Scary isn't it?

Well I have discovered the cure to this frightful scene:

Nursery.

I've been in the nursery all of two Sunday's now, but I know that it's doing great things to prevent the future RSArm. I think every sister in the church should get a year or so in Nursery just to tone up those arms with all the lifting and rocking that goes on. Then we can all look like this instead:

Purple Snot

2011-03-28T21:12:00.003-06:00

Two years ago I was living in Draper, Utah and decided to take a weekend visit home to put in my mission papers. While I was gone my roommates went to this amazing thing called "The Festival of Colors" in Spanish Fork. I was mad jealous that I did not get to go. I mean sure, I got a mission call to the best mission on earth out of it, but still. Since that point I have been waiting for my chance to throw colors in the air with 30,000 other people.

This weekend my dream came true.

My energy level was up from the start of the day. I sped through my classes and leaped across the parking lot when I got to Chalise's house. Friday night I even dreamt about how amazing it was going to be. In my dream the mountains had purple clouds surrounding them and that is pretty much what happened.

There is something mildly frightening about a huge mass of people. Mob mentality, or Crowd Poison as Jess calls it, is so alive and thriving at this festival. Honestly the majority were probably not there to celebrate how Rama conquered Holika, and most probably didn't even know who they were. (The only reason I did is because I read the info on the web page) Despite the varied religious beliefs, or perhaps because of them, we were all best friends on Saturday. There were a few haters who threw shoes, but mostly everyone was just enjoying the love. At one point Jess just took off running into the mob because they started throwing colors, and I ran right after her. We danced, we sang, I crowd surfed. It was perfect. I don't think I'd been that happy in a while. There was so much energy and laughter and color!

In between band sets we got to hear more of the story of Holika and the belief system of our gracious hosts. The message was simple and simply true: Love. Love who you are because God made you. Love others because God made them. Love your soul, your body is just a temporary house. Love the earth and celebrate it's beauty. I don't think there are many people that could fight those truths. For that reason I did hug random people and chat with the girl to my left like we'd gone to grade school together. I like that expanding our knowledge also expands our hearts.

I now have a pink sweater and shirt that were once white, a scalp that despite 8 shampoos is still a little pink, purple snot from all the colored cornstarch dust, and a firm commitment to go back.

St Patricks Day

2011-03-20T22:40:00.003-06:00

I walked into school Thursday morning and went to the birthday board because I remembered that one of my kids had a birthday coming up and I didn't want to miss it. As I stood looking at the shamrock cutouts with names and dates I realized I was wearing blue. This wouldn't have been such a problem if it wasn't ST PATRICK'S DAY!!! I felt like such a fool. I love dressing up for holidays and I had already unintentionally missed Mardi Gras! I need a calendar.

The good thing is that I realized I had painted one of my nails lime green in true city-street-stunner-celeb fashion. The rest were a pale lavender so the lime green stood out beautifully. I don't teach grade school so it's not like I could focus the whole day on little green men, so I shared a poem by Seamus Heaney instead. I think that's a pretty good compromise. This poem just ate me up. I love it. My kids were a little unsure about how to feel, but I think it was a good intro into the tragedy that Celtic literature gives to us.

Limbo

Fishermen at Ballyshannon
Netted an infant last night
Along with the salmon.
An illegitimate spawning.

A small one thrown back
To the waters. But I'm sure
As she stood in the shallows
Ducking him tenderly

Till the frozen knobs of her wrists
Were dead as the gravel,
He was a minnow with hooks
Tearing her open.

She waded in under
The sign of her cross
He was hauled in with the fish.
Now limbo will be

A cold glitter of souls
Through some far briny zone.
Even Christ's palms, unhealed,
Smart and cannot fish there.

It's amazing isn't it? Gosh I love it. Something unexpected that happened was that I had to explain the Limbo and Christ references without saying anything about my beliefs. After a year and a half boldly declaring what I know to be true I could barely get out the line, "Christ, who is a supposed savior of all, can't even save this baby." It almost felt like I was hiding what I know to be true, or rejecting it. So strange.

Feeling inexplicable.

2011-03-19T22:22:00.003-06:00

In this moment I just can't really explain how I am feeling. The only thing I'm really sure of is how proud of myself I am for spelling "inexplicable" correctly in this blog title.

(Sometimes I really struggle with spelling and I take my successes whenever I can. I check all the words I question on google. )

I just want to write I guess. Type my thoughts out really.

Thought 1: I had some really successful job interviews this weekend and handed out 22 resumes. Pretty pleased about that. It felt so good to do some real footwork at finding my career for this coming year. I love my position in Ashton, but they said they couldn't rehire and I don't think I could do that drive everyday. Plus, I kind of want to taste something other than Idaho.

Thought 2: I will be getting a job offer pretty soon. That sounds a tad overly confident, but the interviews were REALLY good. There is one district that will be calling me on Monday to schedule a second interview, which I will accept, for Friday. Shortly after that interview it is highly possible that PrinciPal will say, "We'd love to have you Shanelle, will you come work for us here in Carbon County?" And now the script of life gets a little hard to read because the copier was running out of toner and no one wanted to go to Staples to pick up some more. Their laziness is making life quite complicated for me now. I'm not sure what my line should be.

Thought 3: Carbon County is for outdoorsy people. Could I be a hiking explory-type person? I think so because I like the cave paintings that they have. Also I think red rock is pretty cool.

Thought 4: The CC's are dueling it out in my head now because Cache County is also a big possibility.

Thought 5: Could I actually handle living in Logan? It's pretty but my friends there are leaving in a year and there are a lot of memories that I think I would prefer not to revisit.

Thought 6: I will be moving soon and I think that wherever I move will be my home for a while. That's a really weird feeling. It's a scary feeling.

Thought 7: Charter School, College Prep, or regular Public School?

Really Juliet?! 13 is way to young for a topless scene.

2011-03-16T20:44:00.003-06:00

As she left the building the teacher who I took over for said over her shoulder, "Oh, watch out for Act III I think you see Romeo's butt or something. Just edit it with a paper or something."

No big deal. Today as my 1st period started watching Act III, I too kept my eyes mostly glued to the TV awaiting the big moment. As I looked up from sorting papers I see Romeo and Juliet lying in bed blissfully unaware of the havoc they were about to create. I dashed to the front, book reviews in hand, and slapped my students work on the staticy screen.

There were more than a few screams of disapproval from the kids. They knew it was just Romeo's backside and one even said, "We're FRESHMAN! I hope we've seen worse than that by now!" Oh I'm sorry hon, I forgot you were all of FIFTEEN YEARS OLD! And I surely hope you haven't seen much worse than some guys buttocks, but whatever. Romeo finally found his way into some pants and as I lowered the book reviews, Juliet raised her bed sheet. This synchronized unveiling gave my kids a full on boobie shot.

Yep.

I guess the kids weren't old enough to see if because they couldn't even laugh after that shocking exposure. Imagine 20 kids speechless for the first time in 3 weeks. Not quite the way I wanted it to happen, but I'll take what I can get.

So the day ended with my next two periods telling me they heard that we watched porn in English class now.

Yep.

Try again

2011-03-12T22:48:00.005-07:00

I had a great experience with a student we'll call "G" for obvious reasons forthcoming. While working on our Coat of Arms assignment G came up and asked this question, "Hey Ms. Baxter, can I put gang symbols on my Coat of Arms?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"It's against school policy."
"South uses gang symbols."
"Good for them. We don't"
"But a coat of arms is about our family. All my family is in gangs."
(At this point I look at my dear student and consider our surroundings: Ashton. Kids from the surrounding towns bus in for an hour and we still only have 60 people or less in each class. I'm going out on a limb here, but I doubt there is a large gang presence in our little village. Oh, and South is the school to our south which is a tad larger than ours. Maybe I should have been concerned about this child's ties to gangs and all the stuff that comes with that, but I was more amused than anything.)
"Sorry G. But you are right, the coat of arms does represent you and your family, so chose a different way to do so."
"I can't draw anything but gang symbols."
"Draw a flower. Everyone can draw a flower."
"Can my cousin do it?"
"No G."
"What will you do if I draw gang symbols?"
"Turn it into the principal. Go."
Ten minutes later G returns with another question, "Ms. Baxter can I draw a little dude with a gangster hat on it?"
"No."
Fast forward two days to when the coat of arms is due. G walks up to my desk as I call for the papers to be brought back, but he's not holding anything, and I assume he has lost his assignment which he kind of confirms.
"Hey G what can I do for you?"
"I need a new sheet."
"Did you lose it?"
"Yeah. Kind of."
"How did you kind of lose it G?"
"It's at my cousins house..."
"Was your cousin doing it for you?"
"...yeah..."
"Try again G."
At least he's honest.

Oh sorry, I thought you were a student...

2011-03-09T22:26:00.003-07:00

No worries guys, that's why I wear heels and pencil skirts, so I blend in with all the grunged up pre-teens wandering the halls.

I've been teaching at North Fremont High School for 8 days now and have been mistaken for a student three times. Not bad, but not good. The first day of class I was observing the former teacher and the principal walked in, looked around, then very frustratedly lifted his arms in a huge shrug and shook his head to the teacher. Her response, "She's right there." I had been quietly sitting in a desk and went completely unnoticed. The other two times have been with the secretary and another teacher.

After I accepted the position the former teacher called me and said that I sounded, "really nice," but that I would have to be mean for the students to respect me. When I met her last Monday her first words to me were, "How old are you?" In an effort to prove that I was worthy to take over her class I blurted out, "I'm twenty-two!"
HER - "Did you just graduate?"
ME - "Oh no, I graduated almost 2 years ago. I did my student teaching when I was twenty (insert look of disbelief on her part) and most of my students were seniors, 18! I also just returned from a mission, that's why I haven't been teaching."
HER - "Well, I'm sure that's fine, you just sound really young."

Honestly she MIGHT be 30, maybe but not likely which means she's only 5 -8 years older than me. That's not too much. Right?

Reasoning (read justifying)

2011-03-06T20:50:00.002-07:00

I was just on Facebook when I saw that the first Sister I trained in New York had made an album of her last weeks in the mission. Naturally I looked at it.

After letting my laptop sit without me touching it because Iwas texting my screen saver came on. It's a slide show of my mission pictures. I watched for a few slides before sweeping my finger over the smooth matte black square that switched my screen back to Pandora.

These two occurances combined with the WordFued game I'm playing with an ex-elder and the other mission friend I'm texting right now brought a light-bulb moment: I get sad when I look at pictures of the mission.

This seems so backwards! I am just totally jonesin' for some of those times right now. A few months before coming home an Elder asked me if I would ever serve another mission and I told him no. I like the progress of life and I feel like me turning around and serving another mission would be a way to postpone the progress that needs to happen in my life. Today while sitting watching TV with my parents I realized I would love to go back to the missionary way of living but mix it with real life. Preaching the gospel could be a 9 - 5 job and then real life the rest of the time: parties, movies, boys, family. All the extras. I know that this is totally unrealistic and wouldn't work out the same way, but it sounds sooo perfect right now.

Now living in Idaho I try not to think about my mission. I avoid the people I love out there. Those lovely families who took me in, the people I saw change from the gospel, are all avoided and I couldn't really understand why I wasn't reaching out more. I know now. When I think about it too much I get dissapointed in the life I'm living here, but I have a great life out west! So by avoiding my past year and a half I feel more content in my past two months.

Begin Again

2011-03-01T22:15:00.003-07:00

It's 10:15 and I'm worried it's getting to late to click clack on my key pad
Because the tick tock TACK TACK TACK TACK comes too soon.
Leave the house by 7, 6:45 if the class needs set up, papers graded.
Smiles, scowls, streaked mascara and soggy shoes shuffle to their seats.
New beginnings carry the strangest sentiments.

Update

2011-02-23T22:20:00.004-07:00

Yes, I think it just might be a turning point of sorts.

The sort of turning point where you find yourself up in front of a room of 9th graders spewing off random insights on "Romeo and Juliet"

Yep, that type of turning point. :)

Is this a turning point?

2011-02-22T23:23:00.003-07:00

Today I finally got the call I've been waiting for since February 11th. I know that it was only 11 days ago, but when one is a drifter (such as I) 11 days is about the equivalent of 2 years. So, two years ago I applied for a teaching job at North Fremont High School in Ashton, Idaho. It seemed perfect. They needed someone. I am someone with a degree and a certificate that says I can be their someone! A match made in Idaho.

Today my phone robot-spoke an unfamiliar number and it was Mr. PrinciPAL himself asking me if I would be interested in interviewing for a part-time position teaching Freshman English. Although I had an immediate cringe reaction to the word "Freshman" I quickly said "Yes," with just the right amount of excitement and coolness of a seasoned interviewing working adult that I'm not.

Today I set up an interview for 1:00 in Ashton, 3 hours after my cavity gets filled. Let's pray that the Novocaine wears off.

Today a deposit was made, as was dinner and two appointments with universities about grad school. Not to mention the laundry that finally got done. (Even though now it's chilling on the end of my bed...)

Today I spelled every word correctly in this post.

Today I am happy, fearless, and excited about life!

Happy Sabbath!

2011-02-20T18:11:00.002-07:00

Happy Sabbath! That phase is courtesy of my friend Kathleen Campell. :) She would always tell me Happy Sabbath which I loved.
Today really has been a happy Sabbath day. I was asked to speak at the Singles Ward here in Rigby. I like speaking because I have the chance to review my mission again and remember all of the miracles that I saw. My talk was on repentance and the gospel of Jesus Christ today. I love Alma 5:33 because of the imagery of Christ waiting open armed to accept our repentance. He's always there you know, we just have to go to Him.
After 3 great hours of church I came home to chill with the family and make my daddy no-bake cookies. You know those little chocolaty oatmeal morsels of joy? Yum. I'm currently putting off cleaning my crazy messy room. It's days like today when I realize what a great life I have. Nothing amazing has happened, it's just life as normal, but it is my life and I love it!. I don't have a real teaching job yet, and I sometimes bristle under my parents house rules, but my life is easy. It's about patience and faith and love. Everything is just the way it needs to be for me right here right now. Trust in that statement, faith really, is what gets us all through.

"Welcome home! When's the wedding?" or "A look at the parent's minds"

2011-02-13T23:08:00.003-07:00

I came home expecting some comments about marriage.

I highly underestimated the amount.

It's funny because before my mission I never felt any pressure to get married. My parents joked about it, but I was in school, and then I was planning on a mission. Now it's as if the floodgates have burst wide open. It seems as thought everything leads back to that subject: Marriage.

My mom and dad were married very young, 19 and 21. Chaz (the last kid) was born when mom was only 26. This means that in the space of 6 years my mom had 4 kids. On my 22nd birthday I was in Poughkeepsie, New York and Mom sent me a card that said, "Isn't it crazy that at the age you are now I had just had YOU!" Yes mom, crazy seems like the appropriate word.

The background of my parents may explain their excitement for marriage and their future grandchildren. I mean if Nicole and I had followed their path they would have already had 5 grandchildren. They aren't dissapointed in us. Our missions were quite possibly the highlight of being our parents. Dad has even said how proud he is that we want to go to grad school. This being said, they are ready for the next highlight of our weddings. There are even prizes lined up. My dad has offered to buy a boat for the first one to get married. Of course it would actually be his boat, but as an incentive to live in Idaho the happy couple could use it at the drop of a hat. Mom actually agreed to buy the boat which is even more amazing.

I think they feel left out a little.

This is a new thought. I know that I feel left out a little because the vast majority of my friends are married, but I never thought about how my parents might feel. They are one of the youngest couples in their group of friends and in their families. Practically all of their friends and family have married children, most with grandbabies. Every day Mom and Dad hear clever anecdotes about some child and they can't really join in. Maybe parents need to fit in with the crowd too.

Thanks Idaho

2011-02-09T23:28:00.002-07:00

Yesterday I was walking out of Gator Jacks to my car and I was very warm. Almost too warm actually. That made me both sad and happy because I was wearing my new royal blue pea coat with a ruffle and I didn't want it to have such a short season. I was happy because I was warm for once. I got in the car and it was 22 degrees.

Not warm.

The coat has plenty of time, what a relief.

God Went to Beauty School

2011-02-05T22:52:00.003-07:00

When I was harvesting books at the Madison Library I saw one sitting a side table in a cluster of chairs. The YA tag pulled me in and I sat down to read. I read the whole book in a few minutes. It's small, a collection of poems really. What is this small poem-filled book about? God.

This excerpt is the opening page.

God Went to Beauty School

He went there to learn how

to give a good perm

and ended up just crazy

about nails

so He opened up His own shop.

"Nails by Jim" He called it.

He was afraid to call it

Nails by God.

He was sure people would

think He was being

disrespectful and using

His own name in vain

and nobody would tip.

He got into nails, of course,

because He'd always loved

hands --

hands were some of the best things

He'd ever done

and this way He could just

hold one in His

and admire those delicate

bones just above the knuckles,

delicate as birds' wings,

and after He'd done that

awhile

He could paint all the nails

any color He wanted,

then say,

"Beautiful,"

and mean it.

I don't know why, but I love this so much. God loves hands. I like that. Hands are beautiful and fragile and God likes to paint the nails. When I read this I thought first of the most famous hands ever: those of Christ. His hands did so much and were so powerful and I just loved the idea of God pondering on those hands that He made.

It's a good book. God also gets a dog, gets religion, and gets sad. It made me think and that is what I like from a piece of literature.

Books

2011-02-03T00:05:00.002-07:00

I went to the Madison Library today and checked out four books. I am so excited to read. My excitement keeps getting a little guilty because I used my old library card and the address is for "Da Hawmps" my old house on College Ave. It's been 2 years since I lived there - or in Rexburg in general.

Pushing aside the guilt of abusing a library... I am once again reminded of what a grasp books hold on me. About an hour of my day was spent sitting in a green arm chair reading. After that hour I went to what used to be "The Pita Pit" (yes, it was a huge dissapointment) where I read some more while eating my Gyro and sipping my 50 cent hot chocolate. Quick drive to the Hinckley and another 15 minutes reading while I waited for class to start. I just now tore myself away from the YA novel I'm reading to go to bed after another 90 minutes of "Pure". Liz told me she read it because of the cover and I am reading it because of the cover and because of Liz. I'll let you know how it turns out. For now it is consuming my free time because I just like reading. I may have forgotten a little bit.

I'm starting with three YA books because I love YA plus it's a nice jumping off point. One of them is actually written in verse so I'm very excited to read that and will save it for last. Once my feet are wet thanks to teenage angst and crushes I'm diving into something a little deeper: War and Peace. That should hold me over for a while.

Poor Mama

2011-01-26T22:38:00.003-07:00

I'm going through a cooking stage. It's kind of been a stage my whole life but the mission seriously interrupted any serious cooking time. Now I'm home again with some free time and armed with recipes from Latin America.

The first treat I attempted to make was Chocoflan. It's a delicious chocolate cake/flan dessert and it flopped. Well, it was less of a flop and more of an ooze right out of the Bundt pan all over the cake stand and onto the counter. I have a feeling altitude has something to do with the fact that my flan did not cook like it did in Connecticut. Mom tried to save it by saying it was good anyways and just microwaving my messy creation. It was a cute thought.

That same day I tried my hand at Chiles Rellenos. Keep in mind that this dish and Flan are two of the most difficult dishes to make according to my sources (Las Hermanas Vidal from Puebla, Mexico). I made them intentionally for that reason. Maybe I feel like I have something to prove to the world so I try difficult dishes first. Either way, the chiles turned out pretty well. I beat the egg whites too much and they wouldn't stick to the chiles, but they were good none the less. When making this dish you have to burn the chiles skin off. Elizabeth Vidal showed me to just stick the chile right on the burner, rotate it a few times and then stick it in a bag that's tied tight for a few minutes. After this process the chile's skin can be washed off with warm water. Imagine my mothers surprise when she walks in the door to find me standing over a stove top with every burner on and a chile on every burner. An awkward laugh and puzzled, "ok" followed by the suggestion that I use a pan made me wonder if the burning chiles were bad for my mom's flat top stove. At the end of the night it was clear that they were indeed bad for the stove. Mom still hasn't removed all of the stains...

Today was a new challenge: Tamales. Also kind of heavy duty. I totally cheated on the chicken and the salsa part, purely for times sake. The masa was easy enough to make and I even got the rolling of the corn husk down pretty well. Steaming the little loves was a different story. I am not Hispanic and so I do not have the correct equipment so my mom tried to help by using a cake pan, the stove, and a broiler pan and lid. This was working well until all of our water boiled out without us knowing and mom's cake pan was a goner and now there are new black marks all over that half of her stove. I burned some tamales. Tamales are steamed - they should never burn. At the end of this day we all ate tamales and mom scrubbed her not - so - white -anymore stove for the second week in a row praying that my experiments were over...they're not.

The smell of home

2011-01-24T22:14:00.002-07:00

I smell like tires.

The first time I went to a tire shop to have my oil changed in Poughkeepsie I was so happy. The smell was home. I was critical of their customer service - but loved the smell. My companion, Sister Babb, would let me sit and smell the air for a while. A few moments of Rigby every three months. When I got a new companion she told me the smell suffocated her. Walking out of that grimy shop hurt more than I could imagine.

A year after those experiences I am once again surrounded by the smell of dusty rubber almost every minute. It sticks on me. Weaves into my clothing. Masks my Chanel eau de parfum. Brings me home.

I'm Back!

2011-01-20T23:24:00.004-07:00

It's true. I once again reside in Rigby, Idaho. My parents were supposed to keep this updated - they did not. Sorry! I've been thinkging about my first blog entry back for a few days. I've kind of been putting it off because I wanted it to be really good. Since that time I've decided it's best just to act and not think too much about it.

Today was a really strange day. I woke up to celebrate my daddy's 47th birthday and then wrote some missionaries who are still in New York. After that I went to work where I started feeling so very closed in on. It's hard moving home. I love it and I hate it at the same time. Often I feel as though decisions have been taken out of my hands and placed in others: mom, dad, sister.

Nicole drove us to the Rexburg temple today. As soon as the car was park I bolted. My mind tapped with the click of my heels, "I want to run away." This was my mantra as I entered the House of the Lord. Sitting in that glowing, white edifice I thought about how I can't go anywhere in this area without meeting someone who knows someone who knows my family. The old ladies helping me to my locker were my aunts and my aunts neighbor who told me a story of going across the state and meeting another uncle of mine. These happenings both ammuse and bother me - much like the snow covered fields flanking my world.

pictures of the missionaries & family just before....

2009-06-17T10:01:00.001-06:00

Taking Over

2009-06-17T08:42:00.000-06:00

This is Ross and Holly, Shanelle's parents. We will be taking over her blog and posting her emails every once and a while. Her address is in the "About Me" section if you want to write her. Thanks for being such good friends to our daughter!

"The time has come," the Walrus said, "To talk of many thing..."

2009-06-15T12:53:00.003-06:00

Tomorrow morning at about 7:45 a.m. I will leave my house accompanied by my family. We will load into our white Suburban and sit in our seats (Dad in the driver's seat, mom next to him, I sit behind Dad and Jaxon sits behind me, Nicole sits behind mom and Chaz sits behind her). We will drive down our street to our church house where we will walk in and sit on an old red couch. At 8 a.m. we will all file into a small room and Nicole and I will be set apart as full - time missionaries for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Following that will be eighteen months of service and teaching at the completion of which I will be a different person. This experience won't totally change me, but it will change parts of me, for the better.
Today I went up to campus to see Brother Samuelson, my very first English teacher at BYU - I. After sitting and chatting for about an hour he looked at me and said, "I have to tell you what I told my wife this morning. I told her I was coming to meet you and that you were going on a mission and I said, 'It's hard to believe this is the same girl who sat in my English 314 class three years ago.' You seemed like you were right out of Rigby High School Shanelle. You've grown so much."
He's right, Brother Samuelson is almost always right. I have grown so much in three years and I am so glad for the experiences I had at college. I am ready to go and grow some more in New York so that when I return someone can say to me, "It's hard to believe you are the girl who spoke to us a year and a half ago. You've grown so much."

Let the tears begin

2009-06-13T16:30:00.002-06:00

Thursday I was driving into Rexburg to see Beckah, this was a very exciting and happy time for me. As I started rounding the curve next to the Les Schwab I started crying. My grandfather opened that store and eventually went out of business because he couldn’t stand to see the farmers go without. He had been one of the struggling sowers and understood when a crop had failed, but they had to keep trying. He wasn't the best business man, but he was a great neighbor and friend. My dad worked at the store until he left on his mission to Argentina. Directly across from the tire store there is a street that crosses the railroad tracks and leads to the house my mother grew up and in which my grandparents still live. As I looked straight ahead I saw campus and thought of all the memories that have been made in that small town. My best friends were made within that small radius of the "BYU - I Bubble." I cried as I drove around the round about with those perpetual children who would always be smiling. Not wanting to look like a baby in front of Beck I sucked it up by the time I got to the Hawmps, but even now saying that name I get a little misty because that was my house for 2 and a half years. Then yesterday Chaz and I are driving into Rexburg before heading up to the Playmill and he says, "I sure am going to miss you Shanelle. This is going to be so much fun, spending time together today," punctuated with his happy grin. Luckily my pink sunglasses hid the tears that pooled in my eyes from love of this not-so-little-anymore brother. Mini breakdowns followed throughout the day and the dam broke when I walked out the door of the Playmill. As Jordan asked me when I left I could barely squeak out, "Wednesday," before my eyes were full. I bawled. I stood there looking at some of the best friends in the world and cried, I won’t say shamelessly because I was a little ashamed. The embarrassing part was that I knew I would be seeing them again on Sunday, but I couldn’t stop crying. I am just not looking forward to having to say goodbye to everyone tomorrow. Please don’t stare when you see me and my flooded eyes, thanks.

One day...

2009-06-08T20:44:00.003-06:00

I will have this ring. Not anyday soon mind you, but some day. For any of you readers who think it is wierd that I have picked out "The Ring," you are obviously male. All girls do this (that's my rationalization). Now, the website I found this ring on says that the suggested retail is $50,000, but it is on sale for $32,000. It is also platinum and has really great diamonds, I don't need that. I'm hoping that I can have some jewler make this ring for me, though I don't know how expensive that is. I am willing to take cubic zirconia in place of the 2 big diamonds for a while. I just really really love this ring.

Poetry

2009-06-07T17:41:00.002-06:00

I have been working my way through "Good Poems for Hard Times," a compilation by Garrison Kieller and fell in love with this:

"Ode to American English" by Barbara Hamby, from Babel © University of Pittsburgh Press.

I was missing English one day, American, really,
with its pill-popping Hungarian goulash of everything
from Anglo-Saxon to Zulu, because British English
is not the same, if the paperback dictionary
I bought at Brentano's on the Avenue de l'Opera
is any indication, too cultured by half. Oh, the English
know their dahlias, but what about doowop, donuts,
Dick Tracy, Tricky Dick? With their elegant Oxfordian
accents, how could they understand my yearning for the hotrod,
hotdog, hot flash vocabulary of the U. S. of A.,
the fragmented fandango of Dagwood's everyday flattening
of Mr. Beasley on the sidewalk, fetuses floating
on billboards, drive-by monster hip-hop stereos shaking
the windows of my dining room like a 7.5 earthquake,
Ebonics, Spanglish, "you know" used as comma and period,
the inability of 90% of the population to get the past perfect:
I have went, I have saw, I have tooken Jesus into my heart,
the battle cry of the Bible Belt, but no one uses
the King James anymore, only plain-speak versions,
in which Jesus, raising Lazarus from the dead, says,
"Dude, wake up," and the L-man bolts up like a B-movie
mummy, "Whoa, I was toasted." Yes, ma'am,
I miss the mongrel plentitude of American English, its fall-guy,
rat-terrier, dog-pound neologisms, the bomb of it all,
the rushing River Jordan backwoods mutability of it, the low-rider,
boom-box cruise of it, from New Joisey to Ha-wah-ya
with its sly dog, malasada-scarfing beach blanket lingo
to the ubiquitous Valley Girl's like-like stuttering,
shopaholic rant. I miss its quotidian beauty, its querulous
back-biting righteous indignation, its preening rotgut
flag-waving cowardice. Suffering Succotash, sputters
Sylvester the Cat; sine die, say the pork-bellied legislators
of the swamps and plains. I miss all those guys, their Tweety-bird
resilience, their Doris Day optimism, the candid unguent
of utter unhappiness on every channel, the midnight televangelist
euphoric stew, the junk mail, voice mail vernacular.
On every boulevard and rue I miss the Tarzan cry of Johnny
Weismueller, Johnny Cash, Johnny B. Goode,
and all the smart-talking, gum-snapping hard-girl dialogue,
finger-popping x-rated street talk, sports babble,
Cheetoes, Cheerios, chili dog diatribes. Yeah, I miss them all,
sitting here on my sidewalk throne sipping champagne
verses lined up like hearses, metaphors juking, nouns zipping
in my head like Corvettes on Dexadrine, French verbs
slitting my throat, yearning for James Dean to jump my curb.

and these two (for pretty obvious reasons I think):

No Longer a Teenager

my daughter, who turns twenty tomorrow,
has become truly independent.
she doesn't need her father to help her
deal with the bureaucracies of schools,
hmo's, insurance, the dmv.
she is quite capable of handling
landlords, bosses, and auto repair shops.
also boyfriends and roommates.
and her mother.

frankly it's been a big relief.
the teenage years were often stressful.
sometimes, though, i feel a little useless.

but when she drove down from northern California
to visit us for a couple of days,
she came through the door with the

biggest, warmest hug in the world for me.
and when we all went out for lunch,
she said, affecting a little girl's voice,
"i'm going to sit next to my daddy,"
and she did, and slid over close to me
so i could put my arm around her shoulder
until the food arrived.

i've been keeping busy since she's been gone,
mainly with my teaching and writing,
a little travel connected with both,
but i realized now how long it had been
since i had felt deep emotion.

when she left i said, simply,
"i love you,"
and she replied, quietly,
"i love you too."
you know it isn't always easy for
a twenty-year-old to say that;
it isn't always easy for a father.

literature and opera are full of
characters who die for love:
i stay alive for her.

— Gerald Locklin

To a Daughter Leaving Home
Linda Pastan

When I taught you
at eight to ride
a bicycle, loping along
beside you
as you wobbled away
on two round wheels,
my own mouth rounding
in surprise when you pulled
ahead down the curved
path of the park,
I kept waiting
for the thud
of your crash as I
sprinted to catch up,
while you grew
smaller, more breakable
with distance,
pumping, pumping
for your life, screaming
with laughter,
the hair flapping
behind you like a
handkerchief waving
goodbye.

Poetry fills me.

Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Peace

2009-05-04T22:51:00.002-06:00

Sometimes there are days when you just want to be loved. I have been having those days on and off for a while which has been interesting. Now, this is not to say that I feel unloved, because I don’t. I know I am surrounded by the love of my family and my friends. This is all great and it is so nice to know that they will always love me. But, sometimes I just want a guy to love me(this usually happens when I’m watching a movie or listening to music, and occasionally when I’m reading). That I just wrote that sentence is a little embarrassing. In my eyes I am a proud, successful, independent, "doesn’t need a man" woman. In reality, I would very much like to have a relationship. My last relationship lasted two years. That’s a long time for teenagers, especially when one of the years is spent in different states and visits are only two days long every month. That relationship ended a year ago. For a long time I wasn’t ready to let anybody else in; I totally shut myself off. Apparently now I am ready, and it has come at a really inopportune time, let me tell you. I leave in a month and a half for New York where I’ll be for 18 months. This formula really isn’t ideal for relationship starting. So I am currently letting go of that desire, as much as I can at least. I know I’m doing the right thing in going to New York, but I can’t help wonder about the missed opportunities I may have had this past year. I don’t want to wonder if so-and-so actually liked me and if we stood a chance, but that’s what happens when you push away and procrastinate. Lesson learned.

Read All About It

2009-05-01T10:07:00.005-06:00

The past month has been crazy. I will try to do some quick updates. First of all I graduated college! This was something that I had planned on since I was a little girl and having it finally come true was really great. My college experience has been different in a lot of ways than most college experiences. For one, I went to a church university. This meant that I still had a curfew and a strange dress code to stick to even though I wasn’t living at home. It also meant that my classes started with a prayer and a song. It means that everything is somehow connected to our beliefs and that we learn more about what we believe through our education. I loved being able to point out a gospel similarity when reading a novel in English class, or talk about evolution in a geology class. Going to BYU – I was a great experience for me and I don’t regret going there at all. Another difference in my education is that I graduated college in three years. This is not only surprising because I did receive my B.S., but I also graduated with an education degree which usually takes the full four years, often longer. My life plan was always to graduate early and get as much done as I could while I was young, and I think I’ve accomplished that. There are days when I wish I was still in school, in that atmosphere, that I could take some dance classes, but on the whole I am happy with my choice.
Update two: I am going on a mission! This isn’t really an update, but where I am going is. Thursday, April16, Nicole ran down into my room holding her cell phone, and looking a little crazy, telling me that Dad had our mission calls and he was coming home right now. We knew we would be receiving our calls that day, but we didn’t think we would get them until 2:30 or so and it was only 8. So I hurried and got dressed while Nic asked me if I thought we should open them or wait until later when everyone was supposed to be there. In my head I was going to be surrounded by the people I loved when I opened my call; friends all there, other friends on the phone, my grandparents, and of course my family. The way things were going the only people in attendance would be my family, but I’m not a patient person. So I persuaded Nic that we should just open them and call everyone. She wasn’t very pleased, but I also think that she wasn’t up to staring at that envelope for 6 hours. As I sat on my couch holding it, I couldn’t believe that it was finally here. I was in shock a little bit I think. Nicole opened hers first, she is the oldest, and after a struggle to find the actual paper, we find out that she will be serving in Washington D.C. South. I was so excited and happy for her and now it was my turn. Slicing the envelope open with a steak knife, I slowly pulled the papers out and set the envelope on top so I wouldn’t read ahead. Nicole peaked at my papers and started shrieking before I even got to my assignment, but when I read, “New York, New York, North” I was all smiles and quickly looked up at my daddy who held the camera. I continued reading and when I hit the line that said I would be speaking Spanish, my face went red and I could barely get the words out. It feels so right and perfect and I’m overjoyed to be going there. Nicole and I leave on the same day, June 17, which seems so soon!
Update three: I went to Florida with my family for a week. It was such a fun trip and we just had a ball. I love going on vacation with my family and just spending time without the worries of work or school. This is not to say that we don’t think about those things, but they are less important. Chaz still had to do his homework and Dad found out that one of our employees had quit, but we were fine. Also, we made our flight for the first time out of the three vacations we’ve had where we’ve flown; it was monumental.
Update four: My kids totally rock. The Friday before I flew to Florida we had state drama competition and on Saturday I found out that we were awarded a Superior. We were one of only four schools out of the state of Utah to get a perfect score. I’m a very proud teacher :)
Update five: I got to hang out with the Thorsons, Annie, and Sarah last weekend. We had so much fun just doing nothing together. I had a little breakdown when I had to say goodbye to the Thorsons. I love Kathleen and think that she is one of the most kind and loving persons I know. She is always willing to help with anything and she’s really funny and a good cook. Jesse has become my big brother. Jesse and I didn’t really become friends until last summer when we were all working on Faustus. The first time I really remember feeling like we were good friends and that he loved me was the day after my boyfriend of 2 years and I broke up. I was sitting in the catwalks in the black box trying not to cry at rehearsal when he came up and sat down next to me. “Trying to get away from everyone?” When I nodded Jesse just said, “Me too.” He then told me that it was ok for me to be sad and to not let my roommates try to cheer me up if I didn’t want it; interesting advice, but some that I really enjoyed. He said that they were all going to try to make me happy, but I could just tell them to leave me alone. This is not the normal advice given, but I loved it. Then he walked back downstairs. Since that time I’ve somehow become his little sister. I am so grateful that I had Jesse and Kathleen during Fall semester. They were so willing to let me go over to their house and just sit with them when Jenny was gone at rehearsal and I was sick of being alone. I love them and hated to say goodbye, they are such great examples to be and life wouldn’t have been the same if we had never become friends.
Update six: I had my wisdom teeth out. No fun. I have the biggest cheeks of my life, and I’m really craving solid foods.
That’s pretty much all folks. I don’t feel like doing a whole explanation of my trip, but pictures are on Facebook if you want a sampling of what I did through photos.

"Home is the place where, when you have to go there, They have to take you in."

2009-04-07T00:07:00.004-06:00

The title of this post comes from "Death of the Hired Man" by Robert Frost. That line always comes to mind when I have to move home, or if I go running back to my family for some reason. When I first got home on Saturday I went through the same emotional cycle that I go through every time I move home: excitement, happiness, annoyance, feeling stifled, and then, relief as I go to sleep in my own bed (or the couch, depending on how messy the bed is from moving in) in the house I grew up in, surrounded by the people I love and who will always take me in.

Happy: characterized by or indicative of pleasure, contentment, or joy

2009-04-03T10:55:00.002-06:00

As I sit on my bed eating Funfetti cake on this third day in April, I am grateful. This is why. Last Sunday I sat next to some of my very best friends in our old ward in Rexburg listening to people bear their testimonies. I slept through the first half of them, rationalizing that it was ok because I was with Jenny and she was such a good pillow, plus I had to drive back to Utah that afternoon. Eventually I woke up and listened to what my peers were saying; I was disappointed. Everyone was up there crying about how hard life was, but that they could make it through with the gospel. Now, I totally believe this, but I’m sick of hearing about how tough life can be. I want someone to say they are happy and that they love life. Sitting in that old auditorium holding Jenny’s hand I almost got up multiple times to say just that to the congregation. Feeling like I was imposing and just plain fear held me back, so I am telling anyone who reads my blog now: I am happy! Sometimes one just has to let go and let the Lord direct them without trying to grab the map so they can drive and navigate. I believe in this principal because of this last semester. Some of you know what a pain it was trying to figure out where I was doing my student teaching so I will give a very brief recap: I am broke and couldn’t afford to move to Utah and live in expensive housing, but I couldn’t stay in Idaho because I wasn’t married. I tried to live with some family friends, but my plea got denied, twice. So I was sent to Utah and my parents had to help me out for the first time since I started college. When my family first moved down here it was so hard to let them buy cleaning supplies for me, and the first trip to Wal – Mart when I had to use their credit card to buy food made me cry in the check out line. I like to be independent and the fact that I was using my parent’s money to buy food made me feel like a failure. Luckily, I have great parents who didn’t mind at all. I am happy because they love me and I love them so much. Momma and Daddy would call and ask if I was eating and they would tell me to go buy some food, they never even cared that it was with their money. I was intent on getting a night job and working during my student teaching so that I wouldn’t be so dependent, but my dad sat me down before they left Utah and said that he wanted me to do what was best for me and that if getting a job would be too stressful and cut back on my sleep, then I shouldn’t get one. Well, I didn’t get a job and I’m so glad I didn’t. My kids required a lot of my time and often I wouldn’t get home until five. This meant that I had spent eleven hours either at the school or in transit. It was exhausting and rewarding. When I first moved down here I was not happy because it was expensive, I had a long drive, and I didn’t know very many people. The only thing that helped me accept it is that it must be what the Lord wanted for me and now I know why. After about a week here I noticed that every morning when I woke up I was happy. When I went to bed at night, I was happy. It was fantastic to be able to pray to my Father and say that I was happy to be where I was. There is nothing spectacular about my life down here, I just teach and watch Lost, but it has been such a joy. I know that Heavenly Father put me here for a reason and everyday I went to school I could feel that. Sometimes as I taught my kids I wondered if they even cared about what I was saying, if they got it. My last day teaching told me that they did. My students love me and I have changed their lives, if just for a short time. I don’t say this to pump myself up, but my teacher, MaryAnn, gave me a few examples of what I have done for these kids. There is one boy, Alex, who was kind of the outcast in English class, but he came out of his shell when I taught and now he has friends in class. One of my seniors, Isaura, was consistently late to class for the first few weeks, but she eventually shaped up and said this in her card to me, “Miss Baxter, I know I was late a lot but I progressively got better right!  You are a really good teacher. This is the first time I have ever understood any Shakespeare book. Thanks! Love Isaura.” I helped someone and that is why I am happy. I am soon going to be helping more people because I have submitted my mission papers. Once again, I had to let the Lord choose what I would do next. I am not going on a mission because I’m not married or because I don’t have a job. I actually had a few job offers, though no marriage proposals ;). I am going on a mission because that is what the Lord wants me to do and I am happy to comply. I love the gospel and what it has done for me on a daily basis. Sharing what I know and helping people reach the same level of happiness that I am at now is what I plan on doing. This is my last day in Utah and I am alive and happy, what more could I want?

Pros and Cons

2009-03-29T21:55:00.000-06:00

This is my last week in Utah! In honor of that fact I am going to list (I really love lists) some pros and cons about my life here in Utah, enjoy!

Pros – It was warm enough to walk to the store in just a t-shirt and skirt for about a week.
Con – Currently there is three inches of snow on the ground. Apparently Utah has weather mood swings just like Idaho
Pro – I have a great apartment with a laundry and a hot tub.
Con – We have ants living with us in very close proximity, they even played Life with us last night
Pro – Having a Master Bedroom with an attached bath.
Con – Our neighbors who live above us. They are either fighting so loud that our ceiling shakes and we call the cops (true story) or they are making up so loudly in their master bedroom that Melissa and I have to escape to the living room.
Pro – Being able to sleep in on weekends because for once I don’t have a weekend job.
Con – Being woken up on the weekends by our other neighbor’s house alarm. Every single day at ten-ish it goes off for about ten minutes.
Pro – Teaching kids I love.
Con – Teaching kids I hate.
Pro – Having my kids watch a movie and I get to check my mail.
Con – Having a student call me a “bitch”
Pro – Having a student I love stand up and call the other student out and scare her to death. Also, having all the good kids tell me repeatedly that I am, in fact not a bitch.
Pro – Thirty minutes every morning and evening to myself, my music, and the road.
Con – Thirty minutes to get to work.
Pro – Making friends with faculty members
Con – Still being mistaken as a student after almost three months
Pro – Fantastic restaurants surround me
Con – No money to eat at said restaurants
Pro – Discovering what it means to actually move away from home
Con – Missing my family
Pro – Not having to attend this YSA ward anymore
Con – Having to actually attend it in the first place, including ward prayer
Pro – Having my GPS and being able to go anywhere I want without getting lost
Con – Forgetting about this thing called “rush hour”
Pro – Being here means I’m almost done with the undergrad experience
Con – Being here means I’m almost done with the undergrad experience

"No! I won't give my kids back! I won't!"

2009-03-19T22:02:00.002-06:00

Part I
Who knew I could fall in love with a bunch of smelly high school kids? Not I says Shanelle. Being in school today was surprisingly difficult because I wasn’t teaching. Seeing my cooperating teacher lecturing the students and reviewing the test with them mad me feel like I was being abandoned. Next week is the last week I will actually be with my kids and I’m not really even teaching them; we are just hanging out and grading tests. Over the past few months this classroom has become my own and now I have to relinquish it to the woman who truly owns it. On the seventeenth I was at a job fair so I wasn’t able to be at school teaching my English classes and I really missed them. Today I have had two of my students tell me how much they missed me in English and how it was weird to have Mrs. Ferrin back again. These kids love me and I truly love them. The thought of moving away and never seeing them again pains me. What will they grow up to be, where will they live, and what will their family be like? So many questions and desires that will be left mostly unanswered. Of course there is e-mail, Facebook, and texting (all of which have been requested by my students) but that personal relationship that comes from proximity will be missing. Feeling this way makes me a little apprehensive to have my own classes because I am so scared of getting attached to my kids and then having to watch them leave. I guess that is one of my strengths though: I try to have a personal relationship with all my students and find something in all of them to love. I know that sounds a little cheesy, and I have been told that it’s too cliché, and not to put it in a letter, but it’s true. My kids bring me joy and pain , smile and some tears and they will always be my kids even if I only had them for a short while, they were my first classes and that will always be true.

Part II
My theatre kids did so great at competition today! We had individual events and only three of my kids aren’t going to state. Only one kids am I really disappointed about. Darrell is a fantastic kid who has talent, he just didn’t apply himself early enough to his monologue. He was doing a cut I had from “A Raisin in the Sun” and he did it great. The problem is that he wasn’t confident enough and would break if he messed up. Besides that it was great. I hung out with theatre teachers, got the most delicious roast beef sandwich for free, and had the experience of ordering 39 meals from McDonalds and trying to transport those (including drinks) back to my ravenous kids. I love what I do.

2009-03-16T21:51:00.001-06:00

So, I never whine on here and I am going to try really hard not to sound whiney in this post. I feel like a flounder. There are a few paths I can take right now and I thought I had the path picked until today. There is a huge job fair tomorrow that I am going to and my hometown is hiring. When I was a student I swore I would never work or live in Rigby, but I like my small little town, so that is tempting. Also, my other dream placement is hiring: there are a few districts in Logan that are hiring which means I could get my Masters from USU while teaching. I guess I will just see what tomorrow brings, but gosh I hate the unknown.

Oh, Arlo

2009-03-11T21:23:00.002-06:00

While searching around the internet to see if Jon and Kate really are getting a divorce, I came across this: http://www.limelife.com/blog-entry/The-Most-Stylish-Eight-YearOld-In-The-World/3343.html Precocious little boy who's only eight!

Oops

2009-03-06T12:54:00.000-07:00

There was some confusion with my last blog, sorry. I have three weeks left of student teaching. Pretty sure that I thought I typed, "one month," obviously I didn't. So, three weeks left of teaching then one lame week of sitting in various classrooms observing.

My Kids

2009-03-04T22:23:00.002-07:00

I was at school for twelve hours today and in transit to it for one. This equals a total of 13 hours going to, or standing/walking/sitting/running/dancing/smiling/crying in Kearns High. I only have one week left of student teaching and everyday I walk down those brick halls a little bit of my heart breaks. I don’t think I ever realized how much I would love my kids. I call them all “my kids” and they really get a kick out of it. Monday I told my English classes to come to the play my kids were putting on and one of the students said, while looking completely shocked, “You have kids?!” I laughed and said no, but, I really do. My girls are my friends/daughters/sisters. They know when I’m having a hard day and they try to fix it. Even when I mix Hana and Kelsie up (though I know full well who is who) they still love me. Vanessa gives me attitude and then latches on to me telling me she’s just kidding and can’t wait to see me the next day. Wendy is there for anything and texts me to go shopping or to a concert with her. Kourtni cleans up for me because she knows it takes me thirty minutes to get home. When the boys in third period sass off, Sunny shuts them up and apologizes on their behalf. During English class Jena turns to my cooperating teacher to tell her that I am doing a good job and I’m her “fave”. But, I don’t only have daughters; I also have sons/friends/brothers. Chris always wants to know how my day has been and what he can do better during rehearsal. He and Kelsie make a point of asking if I would like to sit by them during plays or field trips. Even though he gives me more attitude than any other student, Brett is one of my favorites. He teases me and sasses, and calls me Shanelle, Ms. Baxter, Miss, and Ms. B all in one hour. Brett’s favorite thing is to make me say “orange” and he laughs every time I do. Zakk is an ideal student in English and just as dedicated to the show. He also loves to hear me say “orange” and told all of his English class today. I even have a sassy body guard in Terrence and a lovable teddy bear in Darrell. The thought of leaving is so bittersweet, like lemon heads when I was young: hard to get through at first, but totally worth it in the end.

The Happy Dependent

2009-02-03T20:46:00.001-07:00

This has just been a fabulous day! I wore my lime green tank top and black and white striped socks today. They always seem to make good things happen, and they didn’t fail me today. Kearns was taking the state standard test today so we had two hours in the morning to plan, during which I worked on religion homework, and then all of my classes were only fifty-five minutes long! It’s a great change after having 90 minute classes for the past four weeks. Also, the groundhog was apparently wrong because today was as springy as a day in April. The sun streamed in the skylights that run the halls of Kearns High and when I burst through the doors to go home I was smiling my 100 watt smile. To top things off my daddy was coming to town! He was bringing some clothes, a towel, and a new, pink phone that actually rings. Of course, I was more excited to see him and be able to just spend some time together. My uncle is also in town so they picked me up and we went to eat at The Old Spaghetti Factory. It was so nice just to sit with my family and talk with them about work and other member of our family. When Daddy shut the door of my apartment I was surprised at the tears that came almost instantaneously. I have never cried when leaving my family, so this came as quite the surprise. I am so glad I will get to see them two weeks in a row this month. A few weeks ago I was talking with a friend who moved to Seattle after graduation to seek independence. She found it, but she also found out that being independent isn’t all its cracked up to be. When I asked her how Seattle was she said, “I didn’t know growing up meant being lonely.” I found that so poetically beautiful. This girl has always craved independence but she has learned that the people who are truly independent of all ties are the most miserable and that a little dependence is good for everyone. So, she is moving back a little closer to the people she loves and who love her. I used to wish I could be more independent; now, I’m glad I have my family and friends to depend on.

Bleeding Finger

2009-01-27T22:02:00.000-07:00

Today I learned a valuable lesson that I should not have had to learn so late in life: don’t carry knives in big bags and then forget that they are in there. I guess I have been out of the public school system long enough to forget that knives are strongly discouraged, even forbidden, in most schools. Because of this lapse of memory I brought my very cute purple paring knife to school with me to cut up my pear at lunch. Unfortunately I forgot about it and when I reached in my bag to grab my keys, I was sliced. My right ring finger now has a cut about a fourth of an inch long straight out from my cuticle. Oddly, the fact that it cut my cuticle is what upset me the most. So I am sitting there bleeding and my teacher says to me, “Don’t you know knives aren’t allowed in school?! They’ll send you to safe school!” Which I assume is some sort of alternative school where kids get searched to make sure they are “safe.” Now I know that knives are dangerous and painful, and that they get vengeful when forgotten.

Ghetto-itis

2009-01-22T15:55:00.001-07:00

The past twenty-four hours have been somewhat surreal. Yesterday morning I had the incredible opportunity to go to a screening of Prom Night in Mississippi at the Sundance Film Festival. Twenty-three students came with Mrs. Whiting and me to the Broadway theatre to see this remarkable film. Prom Night is a documentary about a little down in Mississippi that had its first integrated prom in April 2008. Seeing the racism that still exists around the country was so sad, but seeing how it was being overcome was inspiring. The director of the film was there to introduce the film and answer questions afterwards. It was such a great experience for me and the kids. (http://festival.sundance.org/2009/film_events/films/prom_night_in_mississippi)
We arrived back at Kearns at 11:15, just in time for lunch. About forty-five minutes later my school was placed on lockdown. This didn’t initially concern me because back home our high school would occasionally have lockdown because there were drug dogs in the building. Soon though, my teacher started getting worried and informed me that this is only the second time a lockdown had happened. The kids were so curious and I had nothing to tell them. Students are so connected with the “outside world” that I’m surprised our little basement classroom didn’t find out sooner. Mrs. Whiting received a text from one of our students that said, “Be careful. There was a shooting out front.” As she shared this with me I changed somehow. I looked at all of my kids, there were only thirty in class that day, and worried that it would be one of my absent students. It’s strange being in a position where you really aren’t allowed to have a break down. I didn’t necessarily feel the need to have a breakdown; I just felt the responsibility to continue class as normal. All of the sudden there seemed to be a rush of information coming at everyone and the “No Electronics” ban lifted temporarily. Karen and I sat at her computer looking at pictures that a local channel had posted of the events. Students were texting and calling on their phones. One student was even able to get a local radio station on his MP3 and turn it up enough for all of us to hear. Information travels in interesting ways. The news first said that it wasn’t a student, but soon enough as a class we learned of the sophomore who had been shot two blocks from campus on his way back from lunch. He was shot in the stomach, never promising. Then another update: two students had turned themselves in as being responsible. Next, a student shouts out that it was “Chris” he played football and was a nice kid. When asked if “Chris” was involved with gangs the only response was, “Well, he’s a nice kid” which means, “Of course, but I can’t tell you that.” Pictures of the arrest were posted online by the helicopter that had been circling for the past hour. Students were crowed around Karen’s desk trying to figure out who it was, then, again the student shouted, “It’s Chris!” Turns out “Chris”, the nice guy, was one of the shooters, not the shot. It’s amazing that you can recognize people from behind just as clearly as if you had seen their face. The students knew who both the people being arrested were by the clothes they were wearing and from behind. Those names haven’t been released yet, but all the kids know who did it. Our class stayed together for two hours. Karen had some oranges and granola bars, so we passed those out. I don’t know why one of the main responses to stress is to eat, but everyone was voracious. School was let out at two and a fight promptly ensued and was just as promptly extinguished. Looking back it’s kind of like a daze, the hurrying of students out of the school, running to unlock a door so a girl could get her coat for the walk home, and then walking into the library to wait for a debriefing. My parents were worried and had been looking at the news updates for the past hour. At some point during the lockdown I remember wondering if I was going to have to switch schools and the realization that I didn’t want to. Maybe I am supposed to be here for these kids. Maybe there is a way I can help. My mom really wants me moved and when I said I would stick it out she just made a sick little “hmmm” that said, “No baby, run away and go somewhere safe.” But, I really felt safe throughout it all. The school was so calm about everything and it all went as planned. None of my students broke down in class, but I worry some might have after school. (http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148&sid=5379737)
As I drove home I remembered a line from Lorraine Hansbury’s “A Raisin in the Sun” that said, “We’re all suffering from extreme ghetto-itis” It seemed to aptly describe what I felt. When I got home I baked a cake, I guess so I could do some stress eating or something, and kept assuring everyone that I was fine. My first set of religion class journals were due and I hadn’t started so the day was filled with reading talks and writing journals, interspersed with checking the news for updates. It was during one of these checks that I saw the 16 year old kid who had been shot had died. It just made the whole situation so much worse and I feel like I can’t do anything.
The evening ended very well though with a tour through the Draper Temple. I was so filled with peace and joy as I walked through the beautiful rooms. The shooting was on my mind, but I just kept feeling a reassurance that the gospel is true and that the Lord will strengthen those who reach out. I love the gospel and the blessings that come from it. I know that in the end everything will all work out, but that doesn’t change the fact that a boy is dead, 3 kids have now been arrested, the halls are ominously silent and empty, not to mention the fact that there has already been another fight this morning. Nor does it change the fact that last night I broke down and desperately needed to be held; instead I held my stuffed dog, cat, and bear while I fell asleep on my wet pillow.

Weekend/Teaching

2009-01-20T21:55:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it’s just nice to know you are loved. Coming home provided me with just that validation. I knew the minute I walked into Liz, Annie, and Jen’s rooms that I would be loved and welcomed. My mom would tear up when she saw me standing on the porch with my bags and Daddy would smile and pretend he wasn’t surprised. Idaho, being the magical state it is, was able to make all of those dreams come true. Liz and Annie yelped, Jenny hugged me so tight my necklace broke, Momma’s eyes were wet, and Daddy hugged me and said he thought I wasn’t coming home until tomorrow. I loved it. Being home was nice, but too rushed. Because I am so broke I had to work as much as I could while in Idaho. I ended up judging a speech and debate tournament and working at the tire store. Both were actually very fulfilling, both monetarily and intellectually, so at least I benefited. Hanging out with my friends made me remember how easy it is to be with them. I liked how everything I said was hilarious this weekend. Surely this is a result of my absence, but I’m ok with that. Utah is a nice change, but I would prefer that everyone I love change with me and move down here. I’ve been told to go make friends here in Utah, which I probably could do, but I don’t want to. Making friends requires work and I’m lazy. I would rather cultivate my current garden than find a new plot, till the ground, plant the seed, and hope it grows.

On a different subject

Today I taught vocabulary. In the process I managed to spell “extremely” wrong. I spelled it “extemly” and one of my students makes confused noises and mumbles, “What does that say?” So I fix it and it reads “extremly” and so then I have to fix it again until I finally spell it correctly. I was all nervous and jittery after that and quite sheepish. English teachers are always supposed to spell correctly, but I am not a real teacher yet, so I get to make stupid mistakes. It was my first day teaching in English and besides that and one other spelling incident I think it went fairly well. I noticed myself talking to the board a lot and I’ll have to work on that. Next time I won’t write the definitions and the kids will just have to listen to me  I also pronounced
”egregious” wrong, but none of the kids knew that, they take what I say as gospel, just not what I spell.

Perks

2009-01-12T21:53:00.000-07:00

Being a student teacher has its perks, here are a few:
1) I’m actually waking up early and we all know that “early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy and wealthy and wise,” I also go to bed early now.
2) I get home from work no later than 3:30, but usually around 3:00.
3) Being home means Melissa and I get to watch fun TV shows on line
4) My apartment has a hot tub.
5) Only 4 roommates
6) My own closet
7) A garage that I get to park in one week out of the month
8) Anywhere I want to shop is within a 20 minute drive, tops.
9) Free laundry
10) Free tickets to the Hale Center Theatre
It is number 10 that I will focus on at this time. Because I am working for Kearns High School Theatre Department I was lucky enough to be a recipient of free tickets to “Cash on Delivery” at the Hale Center Theatre. The director of the show is friends with the theatre teacher that I am working with and he offered anyone who was involved with the theatre department comp tickets to the Saturday show. I was happy to take part in this generous offer and was able to get a ticket for Sarah as well. “Cash on Delivery” is a British farce that shows the troubles of faking out the government. The landlord of this boarding house makes up tenants so that the government will send money to pay for their various disabilities or other issues. This goes on for two years and all blows up in one hilarious day. While watching it Sarah and I couldn’t believe we hadn’t heard of this before. We agreed that the BYU – I or Playmill would have great success is they decided to put this on. In typical theatre kid manner we also cast the play with the people we know and love. It was so nice to go see a production in a new venue and to be so pleased with it. The play took place in the round and the set design was brilliant. Since Sarah has spent a lot more time in the UK she was a better judge than I, but she also agreed it was all perfect. Thank you thank you Utah for actually having theatres and for giving me free tickets!

A Day of Firsts

2009-01-08T17:29:00.004-07:00

January 6, 2009 was a day of many firsts. The first first was driving on a snowy interstate full of Utahans intent on arriving at work on time, and I was one of them. After cutting of a Trailblazer and taking the wrong exit, I walked into Kearns High School at seven a.m. for my first day of student teaching. I was wearing my favorite, and only, argyle sweater vest (for luck) with my new gray heels. The heels were beautiful, if painful, but I had rationalized wearing them because I would be sitting most of the day. As I stood in front of my cooperating teacher’s locked classroom, I regretted the heels. After ten minutes of feeling like a friendless high school student who stalks the doors of their classes to escape the other students, Mrs. Ferrin bustled down the hall. She wore a smile and practical black rubber boots. My new heels were now spotted with salt stains and my tights were wet from slush running in. I felt foolish. As she apologized for making me wait, Mrs. Ferrin turned the key and opened the door to what would soon be my classroom, our classroom.

There are thirty-seven desks, plus the three large ones that Mrs. Ferrin and I use, and the back wall was covered with playbills and student art. Throughout the day I watched Mrs. Ferrin. She has blonde hair that may or may not be genuine and a smile and warmth that definitely is. I had only known her for a few minutes and already I felt like hugging her and writing a card about how much I appreciated her. She gave me a wire basket for papers and twenty files in rainbow colors, “just to organize my thoughts” she later confessed that organization is what she is good at and she tries to pass that on to each of her students, I’m glad to be one of them.

Four beeps over the intercom and students started pouring in. Some chose to ignore me, the strange girl at the back of the class, others stared at me with questions in their eyes which were eventually whispered in their neighbor’s ear. Four more beeps and the class sat quietly. Their questions were soon answered as Mrs. Ferrin explained that I am their student teacher for this semester, and while I look younger than most of them, I am very old. This comment was followed by Mrs. Ferrin laughing at herself and saying, “You’re what, twenty?” Yes, but hopefully none of the students heard that I am only two years their senior.

The day was exhausting and full of introductions to people whom I can’t remember, but who I desperately want to love me. I had lunch with the English department and heard that one of them was retiring, Ferrell, this comment was followed by a meaning glance in my direction. My supervisor had told me the day before that everyday was an interview and I felt it. Not because the faculty was anything less than welcoming, but because I don’t want to disappoint them. I wish I didn’t care what other people thought; I used to claim I didn’t, but it’s not true. I want everyone to love me and accept me, especially my superiors. To disappoint someone is a nightmare. I never scored very high in the “white” section of that color test, but maybe I need to take it again…

The apartment was empty when I arrived and I took that time to read and sip 7up and mint hot chocolate. Melissa, my roommate, and I sat and watched a stupid TV show (which we are now addicted to) because we felt we had nothing else to do. I missed work. Who knew it was possible to miss a place that I so often dreaded walking to. In order to break the monotony I decided to embark on another first experience: IKEA.

The glow of IKEA has been calling to me since I moved in. That big blue and yellow sign never rest and I decided to submit to the siren. As I walked into the building a smile broke onto my face and never left. I loved everything in that store! For over an hour I wandered in and out of model rooms, touching the fabrics and woods, hoping to one day have such an organized closet and such a loud couch. After a while I wandered into the children’s section. I wanted every stuffed toy in those big bins, except maybe the weird creature that had a zipper for a mouth. It was getting late and I needed to get home to because of my new early bedtime now that I have to be on the road by 6:30, luckily I found what I assumed to be the exit. Now, these IKEA people are smart, they even have lower handrails for toddlers, so I don’t know why I was surprised that to get out of the store I had to browse through hundreds of more items. Of course, this probably wasn’t a requirement, but it ended up happening and I ended up buying a stuffed animal, a rubber spatula, some cooking utensils, 8 wooden hangers, and a hand broom set (mostly because it was only a dollar and it was pink). Of course after I had gathered all these items I couldn’t actually find the exit: I was lost in the world of IKEA. I decided to retrace my steps and go back to the entrance, unfortunately, one is not allowed to go down the escalator with un-purchased merchandise. I really needed to get home at this point and as I looked up for heavenly assistance I saw a sign that said “check outs” with an accompanying arrow. Glory glory hallelujah. So began the journey back downstairs through all the tempting house wares, only this time I touched nothing and wondered why I hadn’t read the signs before. Before getting to the checkout stand I had to walk through a huge warehouse full of furniture on shelves up to the ceilings. When I finally arrived the only lanes open were self-check out of course, and my hangers wouldn’t scan. After a nice employee scanned them for me (what I thought employees were hired to do anyways) I was good to go. Clutching my purchases I walked away from the land of IKEA and thought, “Go Sweden.”